Earlier I was talking to S****, and she had asked me if I wanted to go with her to Treo for King Tef’s CD release party. I politely turned down her offer. Now here is the thing, I started thinking about how it would look on my image if I actually attended this upcoming event.  Since her and King Tef  collaborated previously on several different occasions, she already let me know that they will be sharing a reserved table. So now lets try to picture this. If looking from the outside perspective, I would have been the some “MISS”  who’d be sitting next to the rapper and  surrounded by the nba and the nfl. Now how would that make me appear? NOT TOO GOOD… Though let’s not forget something,  I’ve been surrounded by the whole “athlete” scene ever since  I was 15 years old (it never phased me though b/c I wouldn’t even notice them). About the time when N*** started dating  wide receiver  ***** Which meant that being apart of her life calculated to being  apart of  his life as well…..  from  his family, to his games, to his friends and  his world.  But I have learned alot just by observing his views on life and his lifestyle. He is a man full of ideals, who feels that every woman, and I repeat everyone woman is a “WHORE”. This is what he believes and nothing or no one could ever change his mind. He is also extremely strict and I am thankful that he was always overprotective about me, making sure that I don’t end up with the wrong person. So with that said, one of the most important things that he indirectly taught me was that image is everything, which is something that I already had believed in. If he were a to speak on this release party,  then without a question he would identify it as a “ho event.”  And he is absolutely right, it truly is… so, no thanks on this one.

I would definitely choose a genuine friend in a heartbeat. I’m confused as to how many people have identified a “physical relationship” as “love”, when the word “temporary” is clearly stated and the word “love” is nowhere mentioned. Many times on many different occasions I have heard wise people utter, “there is no such thing as a friend in this world.” I’ve lived to learn the true meaning behind these words, and do believe with a passion that a true friend with a pure heart is a sacred gift. A satisfying physical, yet temporary relationship has no promise and fills only a surface void. The type of individual that I would want in my life is the one who I could trust with my life, the one who I believe in, and the one who believes in me. I would want to be connected deeply (without pressure or any sort of expectations) on a spiritual level, simply someone who brings warmth and laughter to my soul. And that’s what I would call a friend – someone who makes you feel free.

Where did all the real people go?

The ones who guard your existence because they understand the struggle

The ones with the open eyes, and their open souls

I can’t see through this deep darkness, and there is nothing in the light

Though all I feel are these shadows, and that’s the depth of the fright

But the biggest war is not around me, it’s inside my heart

Where I’m the enemy and I decrease my own life expectancy 

This sorrow went to battle field when my heart fell apart

I’m fighting for the truth with no troops by my side

Countless days have passed and the battles got worse

With hope I open up new doors only to feel the weakest remorse

So the days get colder and the nights get darker 

I close my eyes to feel escape, to only realize that I’m being haunted in my dreams

Wouldn’t wish upon anybody to experience how that feels

So here I have two different dimensions with the same destination 

What am I truly destined to be?

With this emptiness inside of me, my mind won’t let me see

So never, I said never could I allow anyone to feel sorry for me

I’m just one of god’s mysteries with the power to let others feel free

-Nazira

To make it in spite the doubt and the hate.

To reach who you want to be in this life and never look back. 

See that’s the thing about people with hate in their hearts, all they can do is judge.

And I don’t ever want to see these fake people in my presence.

Who feel one way about me, but around me it’s a different act.  

I don’t ever want them in my life.

Just give me the strength to find strength within myself to make it.

Help me build watch towers around my heart.

Each day that you wake up know that you have a purpose in your life.

Let that passion be your drive and desire to breathe this air till the end.

Nothing should stop you, to become that person who you wish to be.

It has been done before.